The Socio-Assertive Matrix

 

 

 

“We’ll get back to you…”

Are delays caused by your customer decision making frustrating you, messing up your bonus structure? Or maybe it’s people’s decision making in general?

If this is your day to day then I’d like to introduce you to something called the Socio-Assertive Matrix, It’s one of several 'missing links' in timely influencing someone on what they want, whilst bringing them to what they need. 

In short, it’s a better understanding of how you might help someone make that right decision. I mean come on??! What is there to think about, right?  

Fluffy little social teddy bears

Throughout my many interactions with sales people around the world, I discover that most professional influencers are generally by nature, highly social creatures. And a significant amount don’t like having to work within a process because they feel it stifles (or bores) them, they feel structure confines them.

‘People’ people, am I right? 

So these guys create great relationships, get out there and press the flesh (shake hands). But... Because there is no conscious process in play, there is little room for any process development, progress. As you will see me harp on about in other pieces, without some structure, the process of managing and making things work better is seriously restricted.

So, our soft and fluffy ‘people’ people just do what they do, often with no insight into how they do it or what they do well, and in the end, it’s pretty much all they can do. Professional friend makers that share a company proposition so easily, set up a meeting at the drop of a hat. But, do they create anything tangible from a relationship, can they close the deal?

I know people who drift from company to company hardly moving a unit, but they are so damn good at building relationships that the recruiter just had to give them the job!  

Big bad wolves

At the other end of the spectrum there are people who are highly assertive and so confident in what they do or have to offer, that they simply can not resist pushing it on anyone who gives them the time of day.

Of course there is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. I’m sure if we did an exercise on what people dislike about salespeople, being ‘aggressive’ would be right up there in the results, right?

But you ask any sales manager or business leader, if they’d want to have a few wolves in the teddy pack, I think you know the answer.

So, where’s the balance?

Let’s look at four of the most obvious outcomes around the application of social and assertive skill.


Low Social / Low Assertive = happens when it happens (or not).

In negotiations with little in the way of rapport and no emphasise on, or push towards outcomes, generally speaking, nothing happens. Or all concerned drift into an outcome, when it suits (the outcome). It’s not easy for anyone to run a business strategy on this basis.  

Possible solutions:

For the low social, find out about the customer, hobbies, other world / work activities? LinkedIn is not just for getting a new job and Facebook can be so much more than cat memes. Serious note: if the only weapon in your rapport building is discounts, you may be in the wrong job.

For the low assertive, ask questions like ‘when does this need to happen?’ and ‘what are the implication of this not happening?’ as a regular, structured part of your fact-finding.

Low Assertive / High Social = happens when the customer wants it to happen.

This is customer service excellence; pure customer experience, right?

In simple terms, yes. However, what if the customer didn’t stay on track, missed their deadline? Maybe they trusted you so much they just assumed you took on the task?

At some mysterious point in time it moved off their desk and onto yours, without anyone realising. Sound familiar?

Possible solutions:

Tap into your inner admin ninja and get more assertive through clear, regular communication to remind on key stage milestones. If necessary, provide a basic project planning tool to let everyone know where they are in terms of the delivery timeline. And you will know all of this because?

That’s right, you asked about it during your fact-find…

Build on that great social work by confessing how busy you get, what with all those plates spinning, and how important this project is. ‘Please dear customer, help me, help you, to help me’.

Few things damage a business relationship quite like a disappointing drop of the ball, whether perceptual or actual.

High Assertive / Low Social = happens when I want it to happen.

Surely this is a good thing?

On the face of it, maybe. But look a little deeper. If, albeit through natural passion and exuberance, you railroad, bamboozle or exert undue pressure on customers to sign on the dotted line, where is the relationship going?

It’s hard enough finding good customers, working your way through them like an 80s double-glazing salesperson is not big, and it's definitely not clever.

Of the many issues that arise from this approach, increasing cancellation rates and general project dissatisfaction feature heavily. As do limited opportunities for positive feedback, repeat business and the holy grail of all business development, solid referrals.  

Possible solutions:

As before, take time to know your customer beyond the deal. Build strong rapport so the decision takes care of itself. Measure you own energy with theirs. Are you a ball of matter vibrating in milliseconds, whilst they seem almost stationary?

As awkward as it might seem, why not ask if your style is a little bit too full on? If this is going to be a long term relationship, it's much better for it to be open and developmental, right?

If you are already aware of being ‘overtly assertive’ bordering on aggressive (and you’ll know if you are), perhaps some development to calm yourself down would be useful?

High Assertive / High Social = happens at the optimum time for both parties

Aaah, the business equivalent of a perfect storm! And by all accounts, too rare to consider a trend.
 
Putting aside all those monthly targets, activity management and KPIs, there is always an optimum time for a deal to happen, and it’s usually sooner rather than later. It’s worth recognising that everyone from an owner to a project lead, to the person who does accounts want this transaction sorted - aka off their desk and on it's way somewhere else.

There are no ‘possible solutions' to the perfect storm, but …

The best way to ensure this scenario becomes an everyday occurrence is that wonderful thing known as a ‘pipeline’; multiple projects or opportunities on the go that offer revenue outcomes. Whether you sell pens by the 1000 or single houses for millions, having options increases stability. For you and you business.

You being stable means you’re more relaxed, which in turn massively increases your chances of being social and creating strong relationships. Strong, relaxed and sociable helps you be more assertive. 

And how does all this mumbo-jumbo relate to you specifically? 

Of the two major issues facing salespeople and business leaders, one is being too social, too keen to be liked, or not wishing to damage a good relationship. The other is being seen as too forward and pushy, blurring the blessed line between assertive and aggressive.

Based on field experience across a variety of industries, I know that for some the balancing of managing rapport with being assertive will take time and practice. It may even be a little painful, you’ll make a few mistakes and perhaps even get a little embarrassed.

Little by little is the key and some form of structured development planning will help. The Five Cs Model (here in the blog) can help balance the Socio-Assertive Matrix through compelling Concept, targeted Collateral and open, transparent Connectivity to make the most of core messages before negotiations even begin.

Agreed, consistent and well trained Communication strategies, along with timely, meaningful Consolidation all support quicker post-negotiation decision making.

By reviewing the Five Cs in a business development context, you will find where applying social aspects and engaging assertive skills can help your cause. You may find this review inspires change within your business, or that you need to manage and influence your team in order for those changes to happen.

Whether you are a the super fluffy teddy bear or some raging big bad wolf, Socio-Assertive behaviours are as relevant here as they are in business development. 

Consider, what might be the outcomes if you, as a business leader, are low in your Social and Assertive?
 

Just to clarify;

Aggressive - You! Do this!
Assertive is - You should/could do this, because ...